


Cowardice

by jedi_elizabeth



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Friendship, Getting Together, M/M, Reunions, and yahaba realizing his friends are always gonna be there for him, mostly just ennoyaha friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-22
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2019-03-22 10:43:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13762425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jedi_elizabeth/pseuds/jedi_elizabeth
Summary: “I don't know why you’re so worried, Yahaba.,” Ennoshita takes a bite of his toast, “You’ve known these guys for years, and they already know you. You don’t exactly have to make a good impression if they already like you.”Yahaba bites at his nails, “Easy for you to say! You kept in touch with your teammates. After I graduated I fled because I’m a coward.”Ennoshita throws a stray piece of crust at Yahaba from across their kitchen table. Why he always has to cut the crust off his bread still alludes Yahaba.“You aren’t a coward, dummy. You just fell into a pit of self loathing and didn’t handle it very well.”“Gee, thanks. Love you, too, buddy.”





	Cowardice

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope this is good lmao

“I don't know why you’re so worried, Yahaba.,” Ennoshita takes a bite of his toast, “You’ve known these guys for years, and they already know you. You don’t exactly have to make a good impression if they already like you.”

Yahaba bites at his nails, “Easy for you to say! You kept in touch with your teammates. After I graduated I fled because I’m a coward.”

Ennoshita throws a stray piece of crust at Yahaba from across their kitchen table. Why he always has to cut the crust off his bread still alludes Yahaba.

“You aren’t a coward, dummy. You just fell into a pit of self loathing and didn’t handle it very well.” 

“Gee, thanks. Love you, too, buddy.”

Ennoshita snorts, “Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us.”

“Oh, you mean like when you hid your totally unsubtle feelings from Tanaka for three years, and you couldn’t man up until a shot got shoved down your throat?” Yahaba lifts his mug of coffee to his lips to hide his smirk at the look his roommate is giving him.

“You’re lucky I love you, or else you’d be completely fucked.”

Yahaba gasps, “How crude! What would your beloved Daichi-sama think?”

Ennoshita groaned and started banging his head on the table, “You’re a pimple on the complexion of society, you absolute buffoon.”

Yahaba laughs and falls silent. They sit in companionable silence, which is usually comfortable, but all Yahaba can think about is that damn reunion.

In theory, it isn’t a bad idea, but Yahaba hasn’t spoken to any of his old teammates since graduation despite living in the same city as half of them. Sure, he feels a tad guilty, but he has his reasons. Being on a team with such great players sounded like a dream come true, especially when your goal was to get to nationals, but all Yahaba could feel was that he was the weakest link. 

When he had first run into Ennoshita while apartment hunting it was a little awkward considering they were rival captains at the time, but he proved to be a good friend. Yahaba was expecting their relationship to change when Karasuno beat Seijoh, but if anything it just reinforced the feelings of camaraderie. Still, Yahaba was surprised when Ennoshita proposed getting an apartment together. 

Clearly, they managed, and now Yahaba is insanely grateful he has such a good friend on his side. He’s the only reason Yahaba is even considering going to the reunion. A couple months ago he wouldn’t have been able to face them knowing he was the reason they had failed. Now he felt like maybe he’ll get out of the situation with only minor bruising to his mental state. 

He thinks of seeing the upperclassmen. Frankly, that makes him feel nauseous. He still doesn’t understand why Oikawa picked Yahaba to take after him. He could never have compared to him, both in skill and ability to lead. He knows he failed to do what he promised. Failed to win, to go to nationals. Even years after he’s graduated he feels shame wash over him. The thought of facing his own mediocrity makes him feel like he’s choking, like he can’t breathe. 

Yahaba sighs and gets up from the table. He actually has things to do, and he can’t afford losing time dwelling on his stupid feelings. After changing, he grabs his coat and yells his goodbye to Ennoshita.

 

Yahaba sits through his first class with his nerves completely on edge. He’s a god student, usually. He just cannot stop worrying about this damn reunion. He should ask if he needs to bring something. What would he even bring? He can’t cook. Isn’t bringing store bought food taboo or something? 

He hears the sound of papers being picked up and books being put away. Looking up he realizes that he had next to no notes on what the lesson from today was. He groans. He’ll have to ask Shirabu for the notes, and he knows that asshole will mock him before he hands them over.

When he has all his stuff packed in his bag he starts walking out. His next class isn’t for another half hour, so he has time to kill. He considers going to the cafe on campus or stopping by the gym. On one hand, the cafe is calm and quiet this time of day, and on the other, he could destress at the gym. He stands there for a couple minutes before heading toward the cafe.

When he gets there he feels welcomed immediately. The ambiance of the place always soothed his nerves. It always smells of freshly baked pastries, but it's never strong enough to give him a headache. He notes, happily, that there’s even less people here than usual at this time. 

He plops his stuff down at the seat built into the window. It’s his favorite because he can see the whole room, and that makes him feel more at ease. Not to mention, the cafe is right across the street from a popular park area with a lot of vegetation. He often comes here to work on sketches because it allows him to draw the landscape without actually having to go outside.

He walks up to the counter and rings the little bell on the counter to call for the employee whos probably taking a break because of the lack of customers. A few seconds pass before a small blonde girl walks through the doorway and up to the counter. She looks familiar, and it takes Yahaba a few seconds to realize she was the manager of Karasuno when they were in high school. He distinctly remembers trying to flirt with her in his second year and flushes red. 

“Ah, you’re Yahaba-kun, right? You were Seijou’s captain a few years ago!” The girl’s eyes are wide and Yahaba remembers why he tried to flirt with her in the first place. She’s insanely adorable. 

“That’s me, yeah,” he smiles, “You were Karasuno’s manager. Its…” he feels his mind go blank, “I’m terrible with names, I’m sorry.”

“Oh, it’s Yachi! Yachi Hitoka!” She keeps fiddling with the hem of her apron.

“Right, sorry, well it’s nice to see you again, Yachi-san. Can I get a large hot chocolate please? With chocolate muffin?”

“No problem! That’ll be 750 yen, please.”

Yahaba hands over the money and stands to the side while he waits for his drink and food. He makes his way to his seat after thanking Yachi and sips quietly from his mug. The warmth from the beverage seeps into his bones and relaxes him. He hasn’t realized how tense he’s been all day, but he can feel the ache in his neck from his shoulders being pulled up to his ears. 

He sighs for the umpteenth time that day and leans his head against the glass. The contrast between the warmth in his body from the hot chocolate and the cold of the window makes him shudder, and he closes his eyes to try and relax. 

He remembers his muffin and slowly moves to unwrap it when he sees a flash of movement outside. He doesn't know why he feels compelled to look, but he does anyway. The source is across the street walking a dog, a very cute dog in Yahaba’s opinion. It’s a small golden retriever puppy, and it’s busy chasing its own tail and wrapping its owner in its leash. A smile makes its way onto his face from inside the cafe.

His eyes trail up the legs of the man with the dog, and he notes that his legs could possibly crush bone before finally looking up further. More muscle, a little more, and when Yahaba sees his face he nearly drops his muffin.

Standing outside, across the street, is Kyoutani Kentarou, Yahaba’s old teammate and ace.

Yahaba is too busy gawking to realize what time it is until his phone starts buzzing violently. It surprises him out of his stupor, and he looks at the texts.

(10:50am)ennoshit: dude?? where are u? class starts in 10

(10:52)ennoshit: ?? you arent still freaking out r u?  
(10:53)ennoshit: i kno for a fact u always have ur phone im getting worried  
(10:54)ennoshit: Yahaba. Seriously, I’m kinda worried now.

When Ennoshita pulls out the proper grammar it usually means he’s about to kick someone’s ass, so Yahaba grabs his phone and his muffin and sprints out the door.

He frantically texts back while trying not to fall flat on his face.

(10:56)Me: shit sorry i lost track of time  
(10:56)Me: omw now, running

All Yahaba can think about is the fact that he needs to stop skipping out on the gym. Running the total of three blocks to his lecture is annoyingly difficult. He's never been this out of shape in his life, and he huffs in frustration as he pulls open the door. He tries to be quiet since he's a few minutes late, but a couple heads still turn to look at him as he shuffles to his steady next to Ennoshita. 

Luckily, his friend is too diligent a student to talk during a lesson, so the worst he gets is a worried look they he waves off with a gesture. Yahaba takes a moment to steady his breathing and calm his heart rate before he takes out his notebook. He already knows the effort is futile, he won't be able to pay attention to anything his professor says in the next hour and a half. 

Throughout the entire lecture Yahaba zones in and out, catching a few sentences here and there. His mind is going a hundred miles a minute, between the impending reunion and the Kyoutani sighting earlier. He has a lot of questions about the latter. Did Kyoutani live here? If so, how did they not run into each other at least once? If not, is he just here because of the get together? 

Why is he still so hot?

Yahaba internally smacks himself for that one. There's absolutely nothing attractive about that grumpy neanderthal. Nothing. 

He doesn’t still hold a torch for the guy. 

His heart doesn’t start beating fast when he thinks about seeing him tomorrow. 

And he totally isn’t blushing just thinking about him.

He slowly rests his forehead against his notebook and groans quietly. He’s gonna die. The overload of stress this is causing is actually going to kill him. 

He feels a hand rest on the back of his neck, and he looks up, pouting. Ennoshita just smiles and shakes his head before he goes back to taking notes. His fingers start lightly pulling at the strands of Yahaba’s hair that fall down his neck. His hair is getting long. He really should get a haircut before he sees anyone important tomorrow. 

But there’s no place near and cheap enough that does walk-ins, so he’s screwed.

Great.

 

When Yahaba wakes up, it’s an hour before the time he set his alarm for. He groans and curses his internal clock. 

Sitting up, he stretches his arms above his head and hears cracks go down his spine. He slowly crawls out of bed and makes his way to the bathroom for his morning routine, one that Ennoshita regularly mocks him for. He likes to go out in public not looking like a goblin, okay?

Once his hair looks presentable, he grabs his favorite yellow sweater and his black jeans. Glancing around, he realizes his last pair of contacts are the ones that he managed to rip yesterday, so he’s forced to grab his glasses and put them on. He looks in the mirror and frowns. He hates his glasses.

He puts the thought out of his mind and wanders into the kitchen to makes something for breakfast. Ennoshita isn’t in his usual place at the table like he typically is whenever Yahaba manages to get out of bed. Instead there’s a note.

Ryuu and I decided to go visit Yuu and Asa-chan for the day, there’s breakfast in the microwave, and I have a kettle on the stove to boil water when you’re ready for tea. Don’t freak out about the reunion, i promise it’ll all be fine. Just make sure you don’t pick a fight.   
Love you <3  
~Chikara

Yahaba can’t keep the smile off his face as he eats the breakfast Chikara left for him.

 

Checking the address for the millionth time, Yahaba takes a deep breath. He walks up to the door and raises his hand to knock. He hesitates. He closes his eyes, steeling himself, and he knocks.

He counts to five before the door opens, and he’s suddenly face-to-face with Iwaizumi.

“Yahaba! I figured you’d be early,” he smiles around his words, “You were always the punctual one.”

His old senpai’s expression eases his nerves, he doesn’t seem to hold a grudge. 

“Hi, Iwaizumi-san,” Yahaba smiles back, albeit smaller and more hesitant, “I figured you guys would appreciate some help with something.”

Iwaizumi laughs and beckons him inside, and Yahaba thinks he hears him mutter something that sounds like “typical”.

“You aren’t the only one who showed up early.”

Before he can ask, Iwaizumi points into the kitchen. Yahaba has to lean to the side to look through the doorway, but when he does he feels his cheeks flush. There, in the kitchen with Oikawa, is Kyoutani. 

That bastard.

He’s cooking with Oikawa, and it looks like he knows what he’s doing. He’s wearing a plain white t-shirt that stretches over his arms and a pair of skinny jeans. It’s very simple but it has Yahaba heating up. He’s hot, and he can obviously cook. Great. 

Before he can sprint out the door, he’s spotted.

“Yahaba-chan! You made it!” His old captain beams at him. Kyoutani’s eyes shift over to him and widen slightly before he schools his expression back to normal. 

His attention gets pulled away when he nearly gets knocked off his feet by Oikawa. He reflexively grabs ahold of the other man to keep his balance.

“Oikawa-san, what the hell?” He can hear the disbelief in his own voice.

“I’m giving my favorite kouhai a hug, duh.”

Yahaba’s entire face turned red.

As he was trying to escape the vice grip Oikawa had on him he hears Kyoutani speak, “Where the hell have you been, creampuff?”

Iwaizumi sighs while Oikawa snorts. Yahaba just looks at the wall. 

“You’re just gonna ignore me?”

“Yep.” Yahaba doesn’t wanna deal with explaining things to the team, let alone the guy he’s been in love with since he was 17. He was hoping to avoid an interrogation, but that clearly isn’t how things are going to pan out. Oikawa has The Look on his face from where he’s pulled away from the hug.

“Now, now, Ken-chan.” Oikawa waves his hand in the air, “Let’s let Yahaba-chan settle in before the serious talk starts.” Yahaba doesn’t like the way he worded that. It sounds like there was a serious talk planned, and he is not for that.

“You really think he’s gonna be more likely to talk surrounded by everybody? Now’s our best chance to get anything out of him, and I’m taking that chance.” Kyoutani starts toward the other three men, and Yahaba tries to take a step back. Oikawa doesn’t let him. He’s still got an arm wrapped around his back.

Before he can panic Kyoutani is right in front of him, arms crossed over his chest and hip cocked to the side, like a mother waiting for an excuse from a child. Yahaba will never admit to flicking his eyes down to glance at his biceps. Never. 

All three of his old teammates are staring at him expectantly, and he suddenly realizes that this was planned. There’s no way to escape the situation. Ennoshita always says he needs to get better at facing his issues, but all the progress he’s made never prepared him for this. 

“I, uh… really don’t wanna talk about this…” 

No one looks impressed.

“Suck it up, Yahaba-chan!” The hand on his shoulder tightens, and despite the words it feels comforting. 

Yahaba takes a deep breath, “I just… I promised we’d win and… and we didn’t, and I couldn’t face everyone knowing I let them down.” He can’t look any of them in the eyes, and he doesn’t know if it’s because of the shame or the burning he feels in his eyes.

“That’s it? You’re telling me you cut us all off because you were throwing yourself a damn pity party?” Yahaba looks at Kyoutani with narrowed eyes, but before he can come up with a retort the other man starts again, “You seriously think we would’ve thought any less of you because we didn’t win? We may have wanted to beat Karasuno and Shiratorizawa, but we wouldn’t choose that over you, moron!”

Oikawa chimes in before Yahaba can, “Yahaba-chan, that’s seriously the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Here we thought you just didn’t like us that much!”

Yahaba looks at him, horrified. “No! I loved you guys, seriously. I just didn’t want you guys to be disappointed in me, I guess.”

Iwaizumi sighs, “You’re just like Tooru, I swear.”

Oikawa squawks in response, “What the heck is that supposed to mean, you brute?”

When Iwaizumi rolls his eyes and walks into the kitchen, Oikawa follows, whining about how mean he is. Yahaba is left with Kyoutani in the hallway, and his heart is beating at mach speed. 

He’s about to break the silence, but Kyoutani beats him to it, “I really did think it was something we did, you know.”

“What?”

“When you stopped talking to everybody.” His brows are furrowed, and Yahaba resists the urge to smooth it out with a kiss, “We had finally started getting along, and you were a great friend. I thought, I dunno, maybe you cared about me as much as I cared about you, but then you went AWOL. I thought it was something I did, that it was obvious how much I liked you, and it weirded you out or something. I just… I wanna be friends again.”

Yahaba’s heart lurches to a stop. Did he just say he liked me? Like, like-like? 

God, it’s like he’s twelve again.

Screw running away, he’s gonna do it. He’s gonna ask him out. Right now.

“Did- um, did you say you liked me?” His voice involuntarily shook, “Like… romantically?”

Kyoutani looks confused for a second before the panic registers on his face, and he flushes red. “I, uh, didn’t mean to say that, I-” He coughs, and he points in the direction of the kitchen. When he starts to walk through the door Yahaba grabs his hand and pulls.

When he sees amber eyes only inches away, he acts on impulse to explain himself, “Don’t be a coward, asshole!” Well, that’s one way to go about it.

“Wha- Did you just call me a coward?”

“You physically tried to run away from your feelings! You actually turned around to move instead of asking me out like a normal goddamn person!”

“Did you want me to ask you out?”

“Obviously, you dolt!”

Yahaba still has ahold of Kyoutani’s hand when he stops talking. They’re nearly nose to nose, staring each other down just like in high school. Some habits die hard.

“Then will you?”

Yahaba smiles a little and squeezes the other man’s hand, “Yeah, yeah, I will.”

They stare at each other a moment longer before Yahaba just snorts, “Chikara’s gonna get a kick out of this.”

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to comment and let me know what you think!!!


End file.
